NINE

(B&G) When we came out of this theater, we both felt like we were leaving the big top of a three-ring circus. During the viewing, neither of us ever knew where we were supposed to be looking and perhaps that may have been by the design of the director (Rob Marshall) or the screenwriters (Michael Tolkin and

Anthony Minghella), since whenever any one area of the film is too closely scrutinized, things just didn’t seem right.  It was hard to determine where the biggest flaw, lay.  In the end, the full-effect left both of us feeling unsatisfied. 

            Let’s look at the acting. Here we have some heavyweights. Starting with Daniel Day-Lewis, being chosen to play an Italian  named Guido (couldn’t they have found an Italian to play this essential part?) everyone seemed slightly uncomfortable and out of place.  The young Guido (Day’s character seen in flashbacks mixed with up-to-date-fantasy) was played by the youngster, Giuseppe Spitaleri and may have been the best played role on the screen. 

            Marion Cotillard played Guido’s suffering wife and played the character with dignity. It’s too bad there was not more of her and less of Guido on the screen. Penélope Cruz was at least European and also did some fine acting, but it was wasted in the mire and confusion of the script. Nicole Kidman was completely miscast, as was Kate Hudson, and the great Sophia Loren. Loren plays Guido’s mother (actually the spirit of his dead mother) who occupies the screen with both Spitaleri and Day-Lewis and is at the same time, too old and way too old for either part.  She seemed very stiff and a little embarrassed to have let herself be talked into this fiasco. She (like all the women characters) is even forced to sing a not-too-interesting song, which we’ll talk about in a moment.  The two women who were the most entertaining were Stacy Ferguson (Fergie) and Judi Dench.

            Both of these women proved their star quality by show they could make even mediocre songs interesting.  Fergie’s character and performance is just a bit too psychologically deep and stands out when compared to the others.  Dench is wonderful and may have pulled off the biggest surprise of the movie by being the naturally sexiest woman on the screen during her singing performances.

            Now let’s talk about the songs themselves.  We have to ask the simple question: “Why? “  When this film was originally made (a Federico Fellini classic) it was confusing enough (as are most Fellini films).  Why was it necessary to add several bad songs and dance numbers to muddy up the waters even further? We just don’t get it.

Two binoculars are all we can give this one, and perhaps that is generous. Maybe we just don’t want to believe that so many great elements could come together so poorly. Maybe (like the original Fellini film) there is so much art here, that our little, uneducated brains can’t take it all in. Maybe the problem is with us? Maybe we should sing this whole review to an unmemorable tune?